Death Note Bots
by whitetyger123
Summary: You can get them here! Your very own Bots from Death Note, including the Raito Bot, the Matt Bot, the L bot, and even the Mello bot!
1. Raito Bot

**Raito Bot**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Raito Bot (and I would never want to). Also, the links are made up. There is no actual site for the Matt Bot or L Bot – tear - **

Welcome to the Raito Bot homepage! You are probably here because you have seen the million commercials, or you are on the wrong site. If it is the later, you may use this link to reach the more popular Matt Bot.

Now, if you are still here, then you must be one of the three people that want the Raito Bot!

On the Raito Bot, there are two settings: With Memories, or Without Memories. The way you change it is by changing the size of the eyes. With Memories, the eyes are small slits. Without Memories, the eyes are as large as a cute puppy.

If the Raito Bot finds out your true name, we suggest changing the setting to Without Memories, or else the Raito Bot may kill you on account of the Mass Murderer flaw.

To make the time with your Raito Bot more fun, you can bye attachments. One attachment is a long hand cuff. To get an L Bot to go with the hand cuffs, follow this link.

Warning: The Raito Bot has been shown to have a narcissistic personality and unexplainable rants. Also, if you do not want the Raito Bot to kill you, give him the nickname of God.

If you wish to purchase the Raito Bot, but are afraid we will run out, do not fear! On account of our only selling two so far, we have many to go! So, you can even get one for any of your friends, or perhaps someone that you do not want to be your friend, because after getting a Raito Bot, they will most likely not want to talk to you!

The Raito Bot is available in any store that will take them.


	2. Matt Bot

**Matt Bot**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any robots, including the Matt Bot.**

Congratulations, you have entered the Matt Bot site!

The Matt Bot, who's commercial was only aired five times, but is more popular than the Raito Bot, who's commercial is aired every hour, on every channel!

The Matt Bot is perfect for people who like playing two player games, but have no friends! The Matt Bot plays along with you! And, you can choose how good he is. If you want him to let you win, just apply the right amount of abuse, and he will do anything you want!

The Matt Bot can have any type of personality you wish! If you want the Angsty Matt Bot, you can have the Angsty Matt Bot! If you want the Funny Matt Bot, you can have the Funny Matt Bot! The possibilities are endless!

The Matt Bot comes complete with goggles, striped shirt, fuzzy vest, and a hair dryer that doubles as a gun!

Listen to these satisfied customers.

'I just love my Pretends Not To Care But Actually Cares A Lot Matt Bot! He is always there for me when I get blown up but miraculously get out of it with just a hot scar and no burnt hair! Also, he would die for me if I ever go up against a Supernatural Mass Murderer. His chocolate-fetching addition comes in really handy!'

'My Matt Bot helped me not get beat up in school! He would never leave me. Also, he looks great in his School Girl Uniform!' School Girl Uniform not included.

'My Totally Sexy Matt Bot is... totally sexy!'

As you can see, the Matt Bot is for everyone! We are now selling worldwide. When you order your Matt Bot, we will send him immediately!

(Caution: The Matt Bot may fight back, depending on the setting. Also, in field tests, the Matt Bot seems to attract bullets.)

Order the Matt Bot now! You won't be disappointed!


	3. Mello Bot

**Mello Bot**

**Disclaimer: I want to own Mello, but I can't. Matt does!**

You have entered the website for the Mello Bot! If you wish to purchase the Mello Bot, you're in the right place!

There are two different models to choose from. First, there is the Pre-Explosion Mello Bot. His face is not scarred, and he comes with two sets of close, Wammy's clothes, and Mob clothes. Then there is the Post-Explosion Mello Bot, who has a sexy scar and straight hair that amazingly wasn't burnt when his face was!

Each Mello Bot comes complete with a gun, an attitude, and a Uke setting!

The Mello Bot can be paired with the Matt Bot, the Near Bot, or both! Sometimes, he will even be paired with the L Bot, or the Light Bot, but not usually. This is actually against the law in some states, given the age difference.

The Mello Bot can be extremely aggressive, so to calm him down give him chocolate. Do not give him a gun, or a little black book when he is angry. This would not have a desirable outcome.

Some of the attachments are: a dress, a clown hat, a delivery mans uniform, a gas mask, and a bomb!

Here are some quotes from satisfied customers.

'The Mello Bot blew up my house and killed my cat.'

'The Mello Bot tried to have sex with my mom... and my dad... and me... and my girlfriend. Then he blew up the house.'

'The Mello Bot ruined me life!'

As you can see, this is what happens if you mistreat your Mello Bot. To be sure none of these things happen to you, don't turn on your Mello Bot. Just look at it and drool.


	4. Near Bot

**Near Bot**

You have entered the site for the Near Bot!

The Near Bot comes in a whole range of colours! White, off white, slightly gray, and tinted beige! The Near Bot can do all sorts of tricks, from getting a picture of the Mello Bot, to catching a killer (a.k.a. the Raito Bot), and he does all this while sitting down! Amazing!

Don't be fooled by his name. The Near Bot is anything but near. The Near Bot distances himself from everyone, except his toys.

The Near Bot comes with his very own toys! This includes dice, cards, dolls, chairs, remotes, frogs, doors, ceiling fans, pictures, millennium items, plants, beds, hula-hoops, helmets, airplanes (real ones), Christmas decorations, exercise balls, spatulas, Ninja yetis, rail road crossing signs, leather pants, an 8 ball, elevators, marmalade, voice activated light switches, kilts, plastic chocolate bars, Brittany Spears' baby, a fake tongue, duel domes, snow globes, cherry pits, rubber bands, flumes, dragons, children's card games, and many more fun toys that he plays with!

The Near Bot hardly ever needs to recharge his batteries. He thinks this gets in his way of catching mass murderers and playing with the toys listed above.

Because the Near Bot is incapable of taking care of himself, he also comes with a Rester Bot, a Linder Bot, or a Gevanni Bot. He will not care which, considering he doesn't care about anything.

So, call now, while supplies lasts!


	5. L Bot

**L Bot**

**Disclaimer: L is the property of the awesome creators of Death Note, Ohba-sensei and Obata-sensei. Did you ever notice how similar their names are? Even their first names! Tsugumi and Takeshi. Ok, not amazingly similar, but put it with their last names and it is like crazy.**

Do you aspire to possess your very own L Bot? Well then you're in the accurate place! Here you can read up on L Bots, obtain an L Bot, and acquire accessories for your L Bot!

The L Bot goes perfectly with any Raito Bot, fundamentally because he's the solitary person that can understand the eccentric language the L Bot speaks. No one is entirely sure what this language is called, but it has plenty of numbers and percentages.

The L Bot can seize almost any criminal you desire him to! Astonishing!

The L Bot will almost certainly never come out of his box. He is a little introverted. He has a thing about people seeing his face, so if you see him then there must be a rogue Kira somewhere.

The L Bot does not run on batteries. He runs on cake, so you might desire to employ a bakery, since he eats a lot of cake. Tea flavored sugar also works, but not for as elongated a period of time.

If your L Bot ever comes out of the box, then he can educate you how to fight, L Bot style.

The L Bot has both a seme and a uke setting. These will come in handy if you also have the Raito Bot and want to keep him from destroying the world. There is no guaranty that this will stop him, though. It may simply allow him have some fun along the way.

If you had the L Bot no. 1 model, and it had the unforeseen error that it died from heart attack, fear not. The glitches have been smoothed out and the L Bot no. 2 model doesn't have that side affect. Our on-staff scientists have found the problem and fixed it.

There is a 68 percent chance that you will purchase the L Bot, so I will wish you an exceptional life with your L Bot.

-Note, this web site was edited by the L Bot-


	6. Ryuk Bot

**Ryuk Bot**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ryuk**

Do you have a Death Note Bot? Are you sick and tired of the regular, boring, old human Bots? Do you want something new, fun and exciting? Well then, you're in the right place! You need the Ryuk Bot! The Ryuk Bot makes the perfect gift for any bored genius with high hopes of becoming a megalomaniac mass murderer with perfect hair! The Ryuk Bot's smile is guarantied to frighten small children, and in lab tests has been shown to also scare adults as well!

Ryuk Bots can sell in stores for a hundred dollars, but with this special T.V. order, you can purchase your very own Ryuk Bot for only $95.99! And, if you call now, we'll throw in an apple, free of charge! So, not only would you get a Ryuk Bot, but you would also get an apple, all for the very low price of $95.99! But wait! If you call in the next ten minutes, we'll double your order! So you get not one, but _two_ Ryuk Bots, for just $95.99 (plus shipping and handling). This can't wait! This offer is not available in stores, so call now!

To get your very own Ryuk Bot, call the number on your screen. Offer available while supplies last, so hurry up and call the number on your screen to get two Ryuk Bots and apples! Call now!

...

Are you addicted to Death Note? Do your friends and family ask you to stop? Well, you're not alone. We're here to...

REALLY! Call now to get a Ryuk Bot! Right now! This offer is not available...

Help. Millions of people world wide have the same addiction. Whenever you feel an urge to read Death Note, all you have to do is...

In stores. We know you want a Ryuk Bot, so why are you not calling?

...

STOP WITH THE RYUK BOT! WE'RE TRYING TO GET PEOPLE OFF OF DEATH NOTE, AND YOU'RE NOT HELPING! GO HAVE A HEART ATTACK OR SOMETHING! As we were saying, you can quit Death Note, if you chew this gum, that also whitens your teeth!


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